Coping With Menopause Mood Swings

“You’re being unreasonable.”

“You’re overreacting.”

“You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

For most women, those patronizing or unempathetic words that can take things up a notch. But—could they be true?

Menopause and Emotions

The hormonal turmoil of menopause is often compared to that of adolescence and puberty. Hormone levels go from being predictable to more erratic.

However, unlike teenagers, adults in menopause are much more aware of their bodies and the changes they’re feeling. Because of the wisdom and maturity accumulated over many years, a woman in menopause is able to self-reflect and understands the responsibility they hold for their actions.

This awareness is what makes the mood swings of menopause ten times more difficult than when you were a teenager. There’s no luxury of ignorance to provide cover, no slamming of doors and headphones full of loud music to hide behind.

This time, you’re fully aware that hormones are not just changing your body, they’re affecting your behavior. At some level, you’re not entirely in control—and that’s a hard pill to swallow.

What are Mood Swings?

What exactly is a mood swing? It’s an extreme or rapid change in mood that can appear in different forms such as:

• Crying episodes and feeling weepy. If the AT&T commercial is making you tear up, menopause may be to blame. Don’t try to suppress all your tears, though, as a good cry can help let go of stress.
• Irritability. As menopause progresses, many women find that they have less patience, and small things set them off.
• Depression. Depression affects up to 1 out of every 5 women as they move through menopause. Even if you’ve never experienced depression before, your risk of depression is greater.
• Anxiety. Anxiety is intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Many women experience anxiety during menopause for the first time, while others find their anxiety worsens.

If you’ve felt these emotional changes (or others not on this list), you’re not alone and you’re not crazy. Mood swings are a classic sign of perimenopause and can accompany you well into postmenopause.

Twenty-three percent of women will experience mood swings during menopause. The most common mood complaint, irritability, is reported by up to 70% of women during perimenopause.

Hormones or Midlife?

It can be challenging to be told, or perhaps to realize, that some of your reactions have become “irrational” due to hormonal changes. It’s important to understand that there are many factors that contribute to what you’re experiencing.

Serotonin

Serotonin, a neurotransmitter produced in the brain, is sometimes called the “happy chemical” because it contributes to wellbeing and happiness. Among other body functions, it regulates your mood.

Estrogen helps boost serotonin levels in the brain. During menopause, when estrogen begins to fluctuate, this affects neurotransmitters including serotonin. It is likely that the altered hormonal state contributes to mood swings, but studies have not found a definitive link.

Be aware that if you experienced postpartum depression, have a history of depression, or already have low levels of serotonin, you may be at increased risk of depression during menopause.

Midlife Stressors

While changes in mood during midlife are often attributed to hormonal fluctuations, midlife itself is a complex and challenging time for women. Midlife women have a lot going on that can lead to depression, anxiety, stress, and a decreased sense of wellbeing.

Consider that this time of life often includes relationship issues, divorce or widowhood, care of young children or struggles with adolescents, return of grown children to the home, being childless, concerns about aging parents and caregiving responsibilities, as well as career and education issues.

Mood Swings Strain Relationships

Menopausal mood swings can change the once familiar terrain of relationships. You may have a snippy reaction to something that, in the past, you would have provided a measured response. The little things that you overlooked before can quickly cause a firestorm of emotion and a knockdown drag-out fight.

Changes in mood can drive people away, both at work and in personal relationships. Co-workers and loved ones may start to distance themselves. The divorce rate among midlife couples is high. Learning to recognize and manage your emotions will help you to maintain healthy relationships. Above all, communicating with your partner about your experience and getting professional help as a couple or individual can be hugely important.

Managing Menopausal Mood Swings

Mood swings make it hard to filter your thoughts and emotions before you react. With this in mind, try these strategies to help you restore your control over your emotions.

Spot Your Warning Signs

Thankfully, most bouts of anger or irritability have warning signs before they become full-blown. Identify what your signs are. A few common ones are perseverative thoughts (continuous thinking about the negative events in the past or future), tense muscles, increased heart rate, and pressured speech. When it comes to tracking triggers, this is where a journal comes in handy. After a mood episode, reflect on the situation and your triggers, making notes in your journal, to help you identify patterns and become more self-aware.

Stop and Recalibrate

Now that you’ve identified how to spot hot emotions bubbling up, you need to take control. One method is to stop the episode in its tracks. Excuse yourself, walk away calmly, and use one of our meditations to take a deep breath and take control of your emotions.

Self-Soothe

Self-soothing is the practice of de-escalating your emotions and making yourself feel better. Instead of continuing to engage or spiral into negative feelings, walk away and engage with an activity that soothes your emotions. Your self-soothing practices can include journaling, a hot bath, gardening, mini-meditation, calling a friend, exercising, and more.

Sleep Well

Your sleep quality and quantity has a big impact on your mood. Just one sleepless night can trigger irritability, anxiety, weepiness, and more. Pay close attention to your sleep hygiene and adopt soothing rituals to calm your mind before sleep.

Exercise

Any exercise can decrease emotional tension and lift an angry mood. Whatever you do, it doesn’t have to be an hour long. Any quick activity to release energy can help, especially at high intensities where you’re breathing hard.

Eat Healthy

Lay off the sugar, junk food, caffeine, and alcohol. Caffeine is a stimulant that can make you jittery and interfere with a good night’s sleep. Sugar can spike your blood sugar, while the trans fats in junk food have been associated with a greater risk of depression.

While a glass of wine can sometimes feel like an emotional lift or stress reducer, it can actually cause irritability and mood swings. Try swapping it out with sparkling water or other non-alcoholic options. Focus on eating more lean protein, vegetables, fruits, and whole grains.

Breathe

Current research shows that how you feel affects how you breathe. But, when you’re trying to change how you feel, controlling your breathing can influence your nervous system.

Communicate

Communicate with your significant other and your kids about your menopause transition and the effect it’s having on your emotions. It’s critical that they recognize the importance of standing down during a mood swing episode and not escalating the situation. Together, develop a plan on how you will handle touchy situations and give each other space and support to navigate this time.