Marlene, 50. I have big goals for my future.

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I’m trying to prepare myself for the future

I started hearing my friends talking about hot flashes and going all the things that come with it. While I haven’t had experiences with hot flashes per se, I’ve had a lot of anxiety and irritability and I know I’m at the age where I will probably be experiencing a lot of that.

I need to know what’s going to be coming and prepare myself. There are a lot of health things that I’ve learned about, like bone loss, and I want to prepare and start being proactive. My dad just turned 80—I’ve got another 30 years do have another chapter in my life and I don’t want to have to worry about physical health issues that could have been prevented.

A new perspective on life

Quitting drinking wasn’t an option for me—it was a life or death decision.

I started to care about the future. I didn’t think there was a future—it was just drinking. I realized that I’m getting older and my children are getting older, and I need to have a life of my own and still live life.

With smoking, this year I figured I was turning 50 and it was a good time to get it done.

I have a lot of elderly friends who tried to quit but still smoke. I see their struggles with breathing and I didn’t want that to be me. I want to have a healthy next 30 years.

Staying connected to my community

I got sober three months before COVID hit, so everything including AA went to Zoom. I was able to do three meetings a day on Zoom and build a fellowship. So when things opened up, I had already known these people for the past 18 months online and it was amazing thing to finally meet them in person.

But, not everyone can get out and people live in small towns—so Zoom has been an amazing thing to keep people connected. I chair a meeting once a week and donate my produce to local food banks and shelters.

My crazy goals and dreams

I want to find a new house with five to ten acres to have chickens and goats and homestead. Build a fellowship with AA and get certified to be a recovery specialist.

I just feel good when I’m outside

I go out and meditate every morning and I have to do it barefoot. I have to have my feet on the ground and be grounded with earth.

My dad is a North Dakota farmer. It’s in my blood. I’ve had a garden every year for probably the last 30 years.

I used to have a very unhealthy relationship with my body. I suffered from eating disorders when I was in junior high. But then I got comfortable with myself. I became fitness-aware and got certified to be a fitness and nutrition specialist. I gained knowledge of food, nutrition, and started paying attention to labels.

That’s a lot of the reason why I garden—I like to know where my food, especially my produce comes from. Knowing what I’m putting in my body and being healthy about what I eat has made so I don’t feel like I’m weighing myself all the time.

I grow everything you need for salsa, and gourds—I have miniature pumpkins growing right now that I’m gonna donate to a women’s recovery house so they and their kids can paint them and have something fun in their apartments for Halloween.

Dancing helps me feel connected to my body

I have a healthy relationship with my body now and I think it’s because I’ve gotten back to doing active things that make me happy. I love to dance. If I’m not dancing, there’s something wrong. I use dance therapy a lot, and it’s my main way to work out too.

I exercise because I enjoy it and it feels good, not because I have to do it. I enjoy being physically fit, and I think the only way I’m going to have longevity to do the things I want to do is to be able to stay in shape.