Menopause Rage Is Real. Here’s How To Cope.

Perimenopause can bring new and intense emotions. While these are mainly due to hormonal changes, they’re not the only reason for differences in your mood.

The onset of mood changes can feel sudden, extreme and surprising. Quite a few women report that they’re now set off by situations they used to take in stride with a calm, even demeanor. The littlest things are now intensely irritating, and they lose their ability to control their mood. This lack of control is often more alarming than mood changes themselves.

The standard list of 34 symptoms of menopause lists depression, anxiety, panic, and irritability. Mood swings are often used as a catch-all term along with sadness, tearfulness, and “the blues.” However, this list leaves out anger and rage—emotions that are all-too-familiar to many midlife women.

What Is Perimenopausal Rage?

Anger is a normal feeling for which most people have coping mechanisms. However, perimenopause-induced rage is different.

Rage is generally described as excessive anger. You may go from calm to intense, uncontrollable anger in a matter of moments. You may notice that your patience has significantly decreased, and the most minor things set you off. You may feel resentment bordering on hostility toward your partner or children. You can experience feelings of rage for a week straight but then be without it for a month before you feel this way again.

There are many reasons why you may be feeling rage. Here are a few:

Hormonal Changes

The ebb and flow of estrogen as it decreases through the menopause transition can affect your brain chemistry and mood. Lower estrogen levels mean lower serotonin levels. Falling progesterone levels can also lead to irritability and depression.

Menopause Symptoms

You may be sleep deprived and wrestling with hot flashes. Maybe your sex drive has plummeted, creating tension in your relationship and demands from a partner you feel are unreasonable and insensitive. Perhaps you’re less than thrilled about the extra weight you put on. Anxiety may have ramped up as well.

Life Pressures

The midpoint in life is often referred to as the “sandwich generation,” which leaves many people feeling pressures from children and parents. You may be tired of the many demands placed on you through your many social and family roles. Shifting longstanding expectations and getting the help you need can be a major struggle.

Tough Transitions

Midlife is a time of change. Your kids may be leaving home or you may be mourning the loss of your fertility. Your long term relationship may be strained, as you realize you’ve grown apart. You may be struggling with accepting the aging process. For some, these factors can create an emotional stew that bubbles over into rage.

Strategies To Tame Your Rage

It’s hard to tame rage by sheer willpower or changing your behavior. So, give yourself grace and recognize the reasons why you’re feeling this way. Be open with loved ones and let them know what you’re going through. Begin to have honest conversations about what you need during this life stage to be happy and healthy.

In addition to starting conversations and shifting role expectations, try these strategies to help stabilize your hormones, mood, and manage your emotions.

Acceptance

Remember, the negative emotions you may be feeling during perimenopause or menopause are not your fault. They are very common, and you will not feel this way forever. Forgive yourself. You are entitled to your emotions.

Diet

Mental health and diet are more closely intertwined than you may realize..

Stabilize your mood by ncreasing your intake of omega-3 fats (found in olive oil, fish, and nuts). Omega-3s have been found to reduce symptoms of menopause.

Decrease sugar (especially added sugars) and trans fats in your diet. Don’t forget to drink enough water, dehydration can make you more susceptible to mood swings. Finally, cut alcohol down to 3-5 drinks per week.

Exercise

Exercise is critical to improving your physical and psychological health. As little as 30 minutes of moderate exercise can help with mood swings and anxiety. Exercise releases the feel-good hormones known as endorphins and boosts serotonin levels. Carve out a little time each day for a walk, stretching, and hopefully some strenuous activity as well.

Mindfulness Meditation

Taking time to be fully aware and in the moment is an excellent strategy to keep negative feelings at bay. Focus on your breath, your surroundings, and tune into your body to reap huge benefits. A 2019 Mayo Clinic study found that mindfulness practices reduce menopausal symptoms.

Productive Outlets

Work through difficult emotions with an activity that brings you peace and joy, such as painting, gardening, or journaling. The new life chapter of menopause can be an excellent time to discover something that quiets your mind and taps into your creativity.

Therapy

Seek out a therapist, ideally one that is experienced in working with women in menopause and midlife. While there are many talk therapy frameworks, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is supported by a large body of evidence as a way to manage a range of menopause symptoms, including depression and anxiety.

Prescription Medications

Some women find that hormonal contraception and other prescription medications help them manage the emotional symptoms of menopause. Talk to your healthcare clinician or find an expert in menopausal care to understand whether any of these therapies are right for you. Book a session with a Midday coach to help you navigate your options.

If you struggle to manage your day-to-day life, speak with your doctor immediately. Seeking help can put you back on the path to emotional well-being.