Talking to Your Kids About Menopause

Hot flashes, brain fog, mood swings, and weight changes can be major challenges in the menopause transition. In addition to managing your own experience, you may also need to navigate your family’s confusion and concern. Talking with your children about menopause can help them understand what you’re going through and speak to their questions and concerns.

Why Should You Talk to Your Kids About Menopause?

Women who become parents in their 30s are much more likely to have perimenopause or menopause symptoms while their kids are still at home. While menopause symptoms can strain family relationships, talking to your kids about your experience is an important step in helping everyone cope better.

Kids are a lot more perceptive than we give them credit for. Even young children can easily pick up on emotional cues from their parents. Your kids may have noticed changes in your energy levels or seen you have a hot flash. If you’re having mood fluctuations or feeling irritable, your kids definitely know that something has changed.

By giving your kids more information about how you feel, you can reassure them that your symptoms are completely normal and that you’re okay. It also helps them understand that they didn’t do anything wrong.

These conversations are a great opportunity to model for your children that it’s healthy to talk about physical changes and emotions. Teenagers can especially benefit from creating a space that is safe for them to share the changes they’re experiencing.

How to Start the Conversation

Before having a conversation with your kids about menopause, decide how much information you plan to share. This often depends on the age of your kids.

No matter their age, all kids need to know that everything is ok—what you’re experiencing is normal and they haven’t done anything wrong.

Teenagers may benefit from more information about your physical symptoms. You can explain that you’re experiencing hormonal changes too, just like they experience during puberty.

Keep it simple with younger kids: you’re going through a tough time and you might be more emotional, forgetful, or tired than usual. Importantly, whileyou may get upset sometimes, it’s not anyone’s fault.

Get Your Conversation Started with These Tips

Following these tips can help you feel more confident when you talk to your kids about menopause:

• Don’t get too technical: Your kids don’t need a full presentation with diagrams and graphs. It’s tempting to share a lot of information and explain everything, but it’s better to keep it short. Overwhelming your kids with too much information can ultimately leave them feeling more confused. Let your kids know they can always ask you if they have more questions.
• Use humor: If you have teenagers, humor can be a great conversation tool. Talking about puberty, menstruation, or menopause might feel awkward, but humor can lessen the tension. It will also show your kids that you feel comfortable and confident talking about these topics.
• Use examples: Using specific examples is a great way to ensure your kids, especially younger ones, understand what you’re talking about. You can mention a time in the past few days when you were feeling irritable or forgetful and explain how this is a symptom of menopause.
• Share your symptoms: When discussing menopause, mention the main symptoms you’re having, such as mood changes, memory lapses, or fatigue. This will help your kids recognize your symptoms in the future.
• Let your kids know you’re OK: It might sometimes feel like you don’t have much control over your menopause symptoms, and that’s okay. But it’s important that your kids understand that everything is alright. You’re still their parent, and you’re going to show up for them. Let your children know that you are getting the support you need, and that even while going through this transition, you’re still you!

Talking About Menopause Can Enhance Your Relationships

Your kids recognize when you’re having a hard day, and they may internalize that it’s something to do with them. They can feel helpless or upset if they don’t know what’s happening. Talking about menopause can equip your kids with information and solutions.

During your conversation, you can even come up with some ways your kids can help you. For example, you could ask your kids to offer a hug or give you space when you’re in your room. Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, your kids will understand better how to help you. Improving everyone’s ability to cope with menopause symptoms starts with a conversation.